He's Just Not That Into You
by Unofficial Biznesz
Summary: OC Aiyu wants Kurama, but he's just not that interested in a superficial fan girl. At least his friends are on his side, and they plan to bring her down. BTW he swears she's out to kill his social life. Mary Sue parody. Full summary inside.
1. Chapter 1

**He's Just Not That Into You  
**(As seen in the movie, just kidding.)

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**Summary:** Aiyu (OC) used to play with Kurama when they were children. She moved to the United States. Now she's back as an idol, with hordes of fans at her feet, hoping to catch Kurama's eye, but he's just not that interested in a superficial fan girl, famous or not. At least his friends are on his side, and they plan to bring her down. By the way, he swears she's killing his social life.

**Rating:** T

**Disclaimer:** I don't need a disclaimer! ... At least that's what I want to say... however, I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho...

**Author's Note:** I wanted to try a sort of parody for the Mary Sue fandom. I'm hoping to mature it into a good story at some point, but let's see how this goes. Enjoy.

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Chapter 1

"He's my boyfriend, so back off buddy."

"He- he- he, _the_ Minamino Shuichi is your _boyfriend_?"

"That's right," Aiyu glowed as she tilted her head to peck the corner of Kurama's lips.

"Why? Why is it _always_ him? Every single girl… I'll remember this, Minamino!" The boy jabbed his finger at Kurama and stormed off in a huff.

"Um, excuse me miss," Kurama addressed the girl clinging to his arm. He tried to pull away but her grip was stronger than the grip of the fan girls he dealt with back in high school, and he was afraid his demon strength would harm her.

"Thanks, hon, you really saved me back there. That guy just couldn't understand the meaning of "not interested."" The girl commented off handedly.

"Glad I could help, now if you would please-."

"I'll treat you to a drink as a "thank you." C'mon," She pulled at Kurama's arm to get him to follow.

"I'm afraid I must decline," Kurama protested, as politely as he could. None of the girls back in high school were ever that pushy with him. They idolized him and placed him on a pedestal, so no one girl ever got to monopolize him, especially since he has such a strategic way with words to get them to back down.

"Why?" The girl tilted her head at an angle, Kurama imagined she must've blinked a few times to enhance the innocent I'm-not-up-to-anything look, but her huge shades obscured her eyes and half of her face. "School hours are over, I'm sure your mother wouldn't mind you having a life once in a while."

Kurama's eyebrow twitched. Was the she trying to imply something?

"I really can't," Kurama grinded out.

"Aww, don't be like that Shu-kun. We haven't seen each other for eons."

"Who-?"

"Did chu (1) forget me already?" The girl loosened her grip and Kurama extracted himself from her hold to face her properly. "You're so heartless. And to think you proclaimed your undying love for me before."

Kurama took a step back, he did not like where this conversation was going. The girl must be delusional to think he'd ever say that to a fan girl willingly. She was wearing heels, so even at his human speed, he could certainly outrun her. He'll just have to find a way to avoid this route from not on. It wouldn't be too hard. Rooftops were always an option when you're a demon.

The girl sighed, and Kurama got ready to run. The girl took of her shades, shook her hair back and looked up at Kurama with bright hazel eyes.

"Remember me?"

Kurama took in the chestnut hair streaked with blond and pink, and the provocative form fitting outfit. None of it was reminiscent of the girl he once knew, but the expressive eyes were unmistakable.

"Aiyu?"

"The one and only, Hanasaki Aiyu, at your service," Aiyu gave Kurama a flourished bow. She grinned at Kurama as she straightened and Kurama could see the dimpled face of a chubby girl in his memories.

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"Surprised?" Aiyu asked grinning from ear to ear.

They were sitting at a two person booth in a homely little café downtown. The décor was simple but mildly pleasant.

"When did you get back to Japan?" Kurama asked instead.

"I've been back from the States for two weeks actually," Aiyu spooned a mouthful of ice cream, and paused mid-response to enjoy the treat. "Mmmm. The ice cream here is the best. Don't chu agree? It's just the way I remembered it. I'm so glad they haven't taken this shop down yet. So I was mostly trying to readjust to the time change and settling things down at home and with work the first week. The second week I was completely inundated with work. I just finished work as a matter of fact. I didn't even bother to change because I couldn't wait to see you. I found out you go to Tokyo U so I wandered around hoping to bump into you. And then that boy you saw earlier recognized me and wouldn't stop tailing me. Then I saw you waiting by the cross section, and- well you know the rest." Aiyu ate another spoonful of ice cream.

Kurama just stared. His quick brain had already processed all the information, but he was surprised at how much breath Aiyu had. She was never much of a talker before, he didn't know she was capable of talking his ears off. Maybe she picked it up from one of the foreign countries she moved to. Hopefully Japan can reverse that. As a childhood friend he feels obligated to help her get re-accustom, but he didn't think he could stand five minutes with her if she continued like this.

"So how long will you be back?" Kurama finally asked.

"Chu make it sound like chu don't want me back, Shu-kun." Aiyu stuck out her lower lip. Kurama didn't know how to respond so he just took a sip of his honeyed, lemon tea. Truthfully, he wasn't sure if he was thrill or depressed to have Aiyu back. If it was, say, seven years ago maybe he'd be more grateful for her presence, but the years have dulled his memories, and the new Aiyu was, how to put it mildly, grinding on his nerves.

"I'm staying here to attend university," Aiyu smiled, exuberant. She seemed like she was having trouble staying in her seat at the news. "And if I'm accepted here, I might even be able to have a permanent residence here, except for the occasional tours, you know."

'Occasional tours?' No, Kurama did _not_ know what she was talking about.

"What kind of work do you do?" Kurama asked, eyeing her outfit dubiously. A tub top that showed off some of her cleavage, a sleeveless hoodie with a fur hood, and a leather skirt complete with several belts draped diagonally across her waist and hips and boots with two inch heels.

"You don't know?" She sounded surprised and a little disappointed.

Kurama's eyebrow twitched. Something about Aiyu was really making him tick for some reason. _Of course_ he didn't know, she never said what it was.

"I'm-," Aiyu started. The store bell chimed to announce new costumers.

"Hanasaki Aiyu-sama? Is that really you?" Aiyu perked up at the voice and turned around to see four junior high girls standing in the shop's doorway.

"Oh my god, it _is _Aiyu!" another girl exclaimed. The other two squealed and the group quickly advanced to their table.

"I saw you from the store window. I'm a big fan of yours," a girl with her hair in braids gushed.

"Oh, really?" Aiyu looked a little taken aback. "That's… nice."

"I just bought a copy of your latest album; will you sign it for me?"

"Sure," Aiyu rummaged around for a writing implement. Kurama was beginning to guess what was happening. He pulled out a sharpie from his school bag and handed it to Aiyu. She smiled brilliantly at him and accepted it.

"Will you sign my notebook?"

"Of course."

Kurama noted that Aiyu at least did not decorate her signature with hearts.

"Thank you so much," the girls sighed.

"It was a pleasure to meet you," Aiyu smiled holding out her hand. The girls looked shock for a second before one of them timidly shook Aiyu's hand; her friends quickly followed her example.

"The pleasure is all ours. We wish you the best of luck in Japan."

"Thank you. Your support means a lot to me," Aiyu smiled.

The girls squealed and exited the shop, chattering excitedly with each other.

"I shook hands with Aiyu-sama, Mia will be so jealous when she fines out." Her friends giggled along with her.

"Thanks," Aiyu returned Kurama's sharpie, "That's the second time you helped me out today."

"So, is this your work?" Kurama arched an eyebrow in amusement.

"Basically. I do a little modeling on the side and among other things. Ah! My ice cream melted," Aiyu sobbed. She recovered in a second and waved for a waiter's attention. "Mister, another parfait please." When she turned her attention back to Kurama she paused, "What are you smirking about?"

"Nothing much. It's just that, with your personality, it's hard to imagine you as an idol," Kurama's smile grew more secretive and amused, "You used to get bullied all the time and come running to my house with snot dripping down your nose."

Aiyu took in a sharp breath of air, "I. Did. Not." She made her voice sound scandalous.

"No, I'm serious," Kurama lost the smile, "this kind of stuff wasn't your style before."

"Well, people change," Aiyu said, defensive, and confirming the truth that Kurama dreaded. "Don't you think I'm classier now?" Her voice softened, and her eyes glazed over with something that Kurama wasn't too keen on investigating. "Beautiful? Desirable? Enough to stand beside to you?"

Yes, Aiyu really have changed, she wasn't the same girl that Kurama used to have a soft spot for. Kurama shook his head, not meeting Aiyu's eyes. He wasn't sure if it was in denial or an answer to Aiyu's questions.

"I should go now. I have somewhere to be," Kurama stood up and placed down a couple of bills, more than enough to cover his drink. "I'll see you around, Aiyu." Kurama said without commitment.

"Shu-kun?" Aiyu called softly after Kurama as he left the shop, the bell chiming his departure.

"Miss, your parfait," the waiter place a scrumptious glass of ice cream in front of Aiyu, but her appetite had went out the door with Kurama. She left some tips on the table and exited the store.

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Footnote(s):

(1) Her form of saying "you." For some people they pronounce it as "chu" because of accent or they say the word too fast or unclearly. Some people use it as a "cuter" form of you. The last case applies to her.

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**A/N:** If you're interested in being my beta for this fan fiction please PM or e-mail me. If you like it please review! I want to know your thoughts on this. Constructive criticism is highly appreciated.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Mother, I'm home," Kurama called as he slipped off his shoes, and entered the house.

"Welcome home, Shu-kun!" Aiyu shouted and jumped on Kurama, bringing them both to the floor with Aiyu straddling Kurama's stomach.

"Aiyu? What are you doing here?"

"Oh, Shuichi, you're back. Aiyu came back, isn't this wonderful?" Shiori asked, coming out from the kitchen to see her son and his childhood friend already tumbling on the ground like little children.

"Yes, just wonderful," Kurama intoned.

"Dinner will be ready in a few. Kazuya (1) will be working late today and Shuichi (2) is at a sleepover party. So I invited Aiyu to join us, I hope you don't mind."

"No, its fine mother," Kurama replied without enthusiasm. "Let me up, Aiyu."

"Okay, Shu-kun," Aiyu pecked him on the nose before jumping off him.

"How did you get here?" Kurama asked as he followed Aiyu into the living room.

"I drove here, silly," she giggled. Okay, now Kurama knew that she was definitely playing games. His mother and he moved one year after Aiyu went overseas and then they lost contact, there was no way that she could know their new address.

"Aiyu, I moved," Kurama said, weary; he sounded like a grandfather talking to his hyperactive granddaughter. How could being in the presence of one human girl for less than a minute wear him out so badly?

"I know," Aiyu turned to him with a smile but did not elaborate, and then she bounded into the kitchen with entirely too much energy. Watching her bouncing steps Kurama understood what it was about Aiyu that worn him down so. It was something that he had grown accustomed to in high school, but finally gotten a break from in college. Aiyu was acting like a lovesick and not to mention over energetic high school fan girl. In college, the females at least attempt to act more mature about their affections. It's been awhile since he's been subjected to an adoring, bubbly high school girl. He thought he had finally outgrown them.

"Shu-kun, dinner's almost ready," Aiyu poked her head out from around the doorframe to the kitchen. "I prepared dessert, I hope you'll like it," she said with a smile and then she slipped back into the kitchen.

Apparently his assumption was a little premature. Kurama sighed. This was going to be long evening.

All throughout dinner the one thing that permeated the room was Aiyu's incessant chatter. She exchanged many of her tales of fandom for childhood stories of Kurama with Shiori. And she was constantly piling food into Kurama's bowl saying he needs to gain some weight. She certainly doesn't remember him having such a "slim figure" when they were children. Thank you for the implications, but _the _Youko Kurama was _never_ "out of shape" in his life before, not even during his first ungraceful years as a human child.

Kurama had almost poured his dinner down his throat without swallowing. He was finished before both females and quickly excused himself with the excuse of a nonexistent research paper. Aiyu quickly swallowed the bite of food in her mouth. In her haste she choked on it. Shiori offered her a glass of water, and Aiyu quickly washed the lump down her esophagus. By the time she stood up Kurama was already at the top of the stairs.

"Wait Shu-kun, what about dessert?"

But Kurama had already locked his bedroom door and he was content to feign a human's hearing ability.

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Footnotes:

(1) Kurama's stepfather.

(2) Kurama's stepbrother.

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**A/N:** Please leave a review if you like this story. They really encourage me to write. BTW, I'm still looking for a beta to help me out along the way. If you're interested let me know. PM or e-mail.  
Oh, the rest of the spirit detectives will show up next chapter.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

They were talking about him again.

No doubt about it.

At first Kurama thought it was just paranoia, but as the day lengthened, the spirit fox can say this with confidence: those middle age women were whispering about him, that group of teenage girls were gossiping about him, and even the old grannies were pointing at him.

"That's him."

A sigh.

"Isn't he just gorgeous?"

"Too bad he's taken."

"He's so sweet."

"His fiancé is so lucky to have such a considerate beau."

Kurama shuddered.

Surely they _cannot _be referring to him. He's still single and currently not looking.

Deciding to ignore the mindless chatter about him, Kurama continued on his way. Koenma had contacted him about another mission, and now he's heading over to Kuwabara's house for a meeting.

"Oh, if it isn't my favorite red head," Shizuru greeted when Kurama rang the bell.

"Good evening, Shizuru-san. Are the others here, yet?"

"Yea, come in," Shizuru stepped away from the doorway in invitation.

"Thank you."

Kurama entered and Shizuru closed the door.

"You're quite the talk around here?" Shizuru commented as they walked into the living room.

"Huh?"

"Kurama, you sly fox." Kuwabara accused as he threw an arm over the former thief's shoulders.

"Why didn't you tell us you were going out with such a hot babe?" Yusuke asked.

"Are you guys sober?" Kurama joked.

"We should be asking _you_ that question," Shizuru thrust an opened magazine into Kurama's hands.

Kurama looked down at the screaming red headline across the top of the article: International Idol Hanasaki Aiyu ENGAGED! Below that was a picture of Aiyu at a press conference. Next to it was a picture of him, smiling. He recognized the picture as a crop out from a family photo. Off to the side a quote in orange read: "He's proposed to me already, except he didn't have a ring at that time. He wants to wait for me to graduate before we take our relationship to the next level." –Aiyu

_World famous singer and idol Hanasaki Aiyu, with roots in the United States, Italy and Korea, and a fan base that spans worldwide is finally debuting in Japan! Aiyu declares her decision is solely for the sake of her fiancé Minamino Shuichi. After being abroad for years, Aiyu is finally settling back in her homeland…_

The rest of the article was some made up junk about their non-existent secret love affair, some sappy crap about finally coming into the light, and other mushy lovey-dovey crap. The pages crumpled in Kurama's hand. He was not aware of the gold seeping into his eyes.

"Careful with that, Keiko loaned it to me."

"Oh," Kurama blinked, the gold slowly receded form his eyes and they returned to their original green color as the fox looked up at Shizuru, "My apologies," Kurama handed the magazine back to Shizuru.

"'S, okay," she mumbled and snapped the magazine closed. On the cover was a picture of Aiyu screaming into a microphone. He's never felt such a strong urge to wreak mindless havoc as he did at that moment.

"Hey Kurama, you okay man?" Kuwabara asked, feeling the tension vibrating from his comrade. He kept his arm around Kurama's shoulders as a silent form of support.

Kurama wanted to say no, "Yea, I'll be okay."

"I'm guessing you had no knowledge of this?" Yusuke ventured at the look on the fox's face. Kurama's bitter smile was answer enough. "So, who is this chick, you know her?"

"…She's a childhood friend." But Kurama did not elaborate more than that.

"Okay," Yusuke shrugged.

"If you buffoons are done then I would like to get this over with. I have more important things to do than to listen to you gossiping like human girls about the fox's love life." Hiei's sudden voice almost made everyone jump.

"Take that back you shrimp. I bet you just stalk Kurama around all day in trees," Kuwabara countered in protection of his manhood.

"Care to back up your claim?" Hiei challenged in a low voice. His thumb flicked against the guard of his katana. The blade unsheathed by an inch and gleamed menacingly in the fluorescent light.

"Let's get down to business," Yusuke cut in before another verbal battle could start. He held up a video tape from Koenma.

Hiei grunted in acknowledgement. The gleam of his katana disappeared back into the sheath. Kuwabara and Kurama nodded. Sensing the change in atmosphere, Shizuru headed out of the house for a smoke. Yusuke popped the video tape into the VCR and the team gathered around the screen. After a moment of static, Koenma's face popped up.

"Yo, I've got a new assignment for you."

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A/n: Drop a review if you like it. :)


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Wow, I've been gone from this fic for ages. I'm SO, SO, SO SORRY. I got caught up in life and rarely signed onto FF. Thank you to everyone who supported/still supports this story, and a big shout out to those who bothered to review. It was reading all of your encouraging reviews that really gave me the kick I needed to keep writing. BTW, keep sending in your opinions about Aiyu, I love to know your thoughts on her character (especially as I attempt to redeem her character later on). Here's a short update to let you know I haven't abandoned this, yet. Please enjoy it. [Deep bow from the author.]

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Chapter 4

Kurama wanted to kill someone.

Namely a certain multi-colored hair girl with a deficiency of respect for the privacy of others.

Kurama never thought he would have a reason to complain about school, but because of her, school turned out to be a living hell for him. The entire morning was spent trying in vain to ignore the gawking and gossiping of his classmates. The girls either cheered for their beloved idol, Aiyu, or lamented the loss of such a fine bachelor. Some girls were openly crying in the hallway. And Kurama had the feeling they waited for him to walk down that particular hallway before they got out their eyedroppers.

The guys that considered him a friend teased him about his "closet relationship" and asked him to hook them up with some model friends of his "fiancé." Those that envied him dared to glare at him in the eye, of course none of them lasted longer than two seconds.

Either way, it was a very tiresome day; even worse than his episode against Karasu. And all because of one mere chit of a girl. Kurama sighed as he resisted the urge to rub his temples. He looked up to see if the crossing light was green yet.

_Speak of the devil._

Across the street was the cause of his headache. Even though she had a hat over her head, the dyed locks were unmistakable. Kurama debated whether he should take a different route or confront his worst nightmares. His mind was made up for him when Aiyu spotted him and waved enthusiastically while bouncing on the balls of her feet. _Don't come near me. _Once Aiyu was sure she got Kurama's attention she quickly crossed the street. Her attention was so focused on him Kurama found it a miracle she did not trip or crash into someone else.

"Shu-kun! What a surprise seeing you here."

_I'm sure you did not ask my mother for my schedule and then stalk me here... _"Good evening, Aiyu," Kurama returned.

"What brings you here? You're not the mall type." Aiyu spread her arms to indicate the shopping district around them.

"I'm not?" Kurama challenged.

"Well, you never liked them before. Too noisy, you said."

"People change, Aiyu," Kurama said, throwing the singer's words right back at her.

"Oh." Well that would've been her response had she been coherent enough to form words. As it is, Aiyu's mouth is opened in the shape of an "O," with no sounds coming out. After a moment, Aiyu realized how stupid she must've looked and quickly snapped her jaw shut. She laughed nervously.

"Are you out with your friends?" Kurama asked, already scheming to get rid of her. He's going to be late if he stood around talking any longer. As for the engagement problem, it would be best to deal with it in a more private setting. "It would be rude of me to keep you from them."

"Oh," this time Aiyu was able to utter the simple sound, "I'm…"

"Ah, Aiyu, there you are," a familiar voice said.

Kurama watched horrified as a smile spread over Aiyu's face.

"Hello, mother," Aiyu chirped. _That's not your mother! _Kurama thought.

"Ara, Shuichi, what a surprised."

Kurama turned around to properly greet his mother, "Hello mother."

"Are you meeting your friends around here?" Shiori inquired. Kurama had informed his mother the night before that he was going home late today because he would be meeting his friends.

"Yes."

"Heeeeh? Shu-kun, you're meeting your friends here?" Aiyu butted in. Kurama did not feel the need to repeat himself; unless Aiyu was brain-dead and really needed repetition. Actually, he wouldn't bother to do her that favor, so never mind.

"Aiyu, do you want to go with Shuichi?" Shiori asked understandingly.

Kurama listened to his mother with hidden horror.

"Well…" Aiyu gave Kurama the puppy dog eyes out of the corner of her eye. Then she shook her head and turned back to Shiori, "No, I promise mother, you, that I was going to hang out with you today."

"Oh, you're such a sweet child, Aiyu, I'm glad you're so devoted to Shuichi," on his name, Shiori looked at her son with a fond smile. Kurama twitched. Then she turned back to Aiyu with a smile, "I would have nothing to worry about when the two of you get marry."

Aiyu blushed appropriately. Kurama couldn't control his eyes from widening. Was his mother going against him too?

"Go on Aiyu, we can just plan for another day."

Kurama suddenly understood how the magazine got a picture of him from his family photo.

"Mother," Aiyu said dramatically, getting all teary eyed as she clasped Shiori's hands.

Shiori smiled tolerantly, "You young ones have fun. Take care of her Shuichi."

Kurama was not aware that he had agreed until his mother had crossed the intersection and was already halfway down the block.

"C'mon Shu-kun. Let's go!" Aiyu's voice snapped Kurama out of his stupor. "Oh, I'm so excited. I wonder what kind of people Shu-kun's friends are."

Kurama let out a thousand years worth of sigh. On the bright side, Aiyu is in for a surprise, and not a completely pleasant one at that.


End file.
